Madison West High School Class of 1958

“Senior” personal ads seen in Florida newspapers:

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5’4″ (used to be 5’6″), searching for sharp-looking,sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are ! now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.

Baby Boomer Blues

Some of the artists of the 60’s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging Baby Boomers.

They Include:

• Herman’s Hermits — Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker.
• Ringo Starr — I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
• The Bee Gees — How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
• Bobby Darin — Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ a Flash.
• Roberta Flack — The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
• Johnny Nash — I Can’t See Clearly Now.
• Paul Simon — Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver.
• The Commodores — Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
• Procol Harem — A Whiter Shade of Hair.
• Leo Sayer — You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
• The Temptations — Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone.
• Abba — Denture Queen.
• Tony Orlando — Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
• Helen Reddy — I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
• Leslie Gore — It’s My Procedure, and I’ll Cry If I Want To.
• Willie Nelson — On the Commode Again