This “essay” was sent to me by classmate John Lorimer.
Thought you might enjoy this since you are all displaced from the Midwest.
Subject: Proud to be a Mid-westerner
If You Grew Up in the Midwest, then…
* You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.
* You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
* You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.
* You know the difference between ‘Green’ and ‘Red’ farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
* You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.
* You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
* You hear someone use the word ‘uff-da’ and you don’t break into uncontrollable laughter.
* You or someone you know was a ‘Dairy Princess’ at the county fair.
* You know that ‘combine’ is a noun.
* You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
* You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
* You know that ‘creek’ rhymes with ‘pick’.
* Football schedules, hunting season, and harvest, are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
* A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
* There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning.
* You have driven your car on the lake.
* Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
* Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
* The local gas station sells live bait.
* At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
* You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday
* You actually understand these jokes and will forward them to your Midwestern buddies!